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Faith Inspiration Personal Experiences Relationships Spiritual healing

Letter to the single mom… 

Dear beautiful,

After having my daughter, I felt like I didn’t deserve God’s grace because of what I’d done. My virginity was this treasure I kept; it set me apart and made me special
now it was gone. I felt worthless and finished. 
The open shame of my secret sin and the public evidence of it proved to be burdensome. I was ultimately avoiding love because I didn’t deserve it!

I wasn’t different anymore, I wasn’t special. I assumed God was like man, I assumed I had to earn His love and that failing Him meant He didn’t love me anymore. I couldn’t be more wrong! 

This very open shame proved to be a very public blessing. This treasure I gave birth to, is a great part of the reason I sought restoration. 

Fornication is wrong, there’s no excuse for it or pardoning of it by any means. But, if you’re a screw up like me that needs grace, and you desire to be pure and to give God all that’s left of you – do it! You’re not too dirty, you’re not used up, those stretch marks and that C-section scar do not mean a thing to the lover of your soul. 

You don’t have to live your life punishing yourself. Let God restore you, let Him heal those broken places and give your life and the life of the blessing(s) you bore over to Him and watch Him give you beauty for your ashes! 

My journey to wholeness began with 100 Days of Singleness, you can order the book HERE!


Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

Categories
Christian God Healing Inspiration Personal Experiences Relationships Spiritual healing

I was a cheater too…

Most women I’ve encountered can recall various instances of being cheated on and lied to. Okay, I’m no different but what I also like to share aside from my scars are the wounds I’ve inflicted on others. 

Maybe it started with me being cheated on. That doesn’t matter, it didn’t give me the right to become the very thing I protested and argued against. I stopped caring, I literally didn’t care about the men I dated and definitely didn’t give a flying fart about their feelings… 

Ha! Feelings? I was convinced by my experiences that those bastards with penises didn’t have any. Of course, I was wrong. I’m okay with being wrong and I was okay with asking for forgiveness where applicable. 

But… I didn’t share that side right? Our testimonies are much more palatable when we are the victim and not when we are the manipulative, cold, distant and nonchalant Jezebel of the story.   

This may not have been the story in each scenario but it’s as much a show of my salvation as the pain I’ve overcome! So, I cheated too. I lied too. I took “try anything once” a little too far, a few too many times. 

  
So no… I didn’t only recover from pain, but I was rehabilitated from inflicting it on others. We do our testimony no justice when there is no visible contrast between the darkness we came from and the light we were translated into. 

Anywho…

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing! 

Categories
Inspiration

Bad attitude, big problem…

It seems that these days we almost idolize having a bad attitude. We celebrate snarky comments and bad behavior and as a very sarcastic young lady myself – I get it.

However, do you have an off switch? 

  • Are you able to put the satire aside long enough to let people get close to you?
  •  Are you constantly afraid to be vulnerable?
  • Are you petrified of people getting to close to you?

                  
Well you my dear, are not just sarcastic… You’re broken. Satire can be a really cool personality trait with witty comebacks and hidden humor – or it can be a danger sign of insecurity.

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭NASB‬‬

If this is what scripture says about our speech, are we really following it? That’s not to say you can’t share in a nice healthy retort with close friends and family but if you find yourself using satire or sarcasm to mask how you really feel – stop. 

Take a moment and ask God right in this moment to reveal the hidden matters of your heart. Ask God to show you any fears of intimacy you may be faced with.  

Your attitude just may be causing you problems that can be avoided, especially when there are those who love you and genuinely want to get to know you better. Your constant sarcasm says “I’ll only let you in this far” and creates a brick wall between you and real intimacy.

I know, it’s a coping mechanism I used it myself for years and I still have to pause at times and allow Holy Spirit to check me … So umm, examine your heart and examine what’s really behind your bad attitude.  

Until next time,

Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing!

Categories
Christian Faith Healing Inspiration Personal Experiences Poetry Relationships Spiritual healing Uncategorized

To my lover…

You awaken the depths of my soul and breathe life into my weathered existence.

Your lips press against mine and your words spill out of me. 

Your eyes lineup with mine and you change my vision of the world, of my past, of myself.

You love me so completely and with so much fervor that all my broken pieces only make sense in your presence. My heart aches for he sight of you and my soul cries out for your tender mercies. 

Even when you slay me, my lips will not relent in giving you praise. The fruit of my lips are an offering pleasing to you and this broken, tattered heart of mine is your most prized possession. 

Should another come between you and I? May it never be so.

May I never forget the caress of your forgiveness and the overshadowing of my shortcomings. 

May another never take the king of my heart from His throne, but may my body be presented to you eternally as a sacrifice and living testament of your grace. 

Give me more, love me harder, draw me closer, breathe me in until only your breath remains in me.

Let my lips speak your words.

Let my heart beat with your love.

Let my mind, think your thoughts. 

May I live everyday, with the expectation of my lover. He will never leave me, never forsake me and daily He shares pages from the 66 book love letter that tells me just how completely and unselfishly He loves me.

My beloved is mine and I am His. 

Categories
Christian Healing Inspiration Personal Experiences Relationships Spiritual healing

Crazy girlfriends be like…

Don’t be afraid to face your truth and acknowledge that your behavior comes from a place of hurt! 

 

Categories
Christian Personal Experiences Relationships

To the other women…

I’m so sorry that I blamed you for the men that cheated.

I’m sorry that I called out your promiscuity rather than my own fear and insecurity.

I’m sorry that I was just another source of pain for you, that I allowed my own hurt to cut you with my words.

I’m sorry that I called you a whore, a slut and any other derogatory term just because I needed someone else to hurt as badly as I did.

I’m sorry that I didn’t acknowledge you were hurting too.

I’m sorry that instead of realizing our similarity, the fact that we both responded to a broken heart wrongly… I called out our differences in an attempt to make myself feel superior.

It didn’t work.

Can I be honest? I’m sorry that at some point,I became you!

Please forgive me for not being brave enough to leave. Forgive me for blaming you for my insecurities. I looked at you and you were just a reminder of what I thought to be my truth… I’m not enough, I never will be.

But can I tell you something?

You are beautiful! You don’t have to settle because of what you wrongly believe about yourself; allow your creator to show you who you really are! Don’t cheapen yourself to be more appealing to those who mean you no good. Don’t devalue what God has deemed priceless! You are worth God’s only begotten son! You’re the only one that doesn’t know your worth!

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
– Psalm 139:14

Step into your truth, I don’t pity you nor do I envy you. I love you, I want you to be healed as my God is healing me; I want you to be set free! I want the last time to be the last time you settle for sloppy seconds, stolen moments and cold shoulders.
God is waiting on your hurt so He can heal you. He’s waiting on you to face the truth; His truth of who you are!

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.