Yesterday I started therapy. I hated every moment of vulnerability I was subjected to but I knew it was necessary for me. It was time I took back the power of my life’s narrative and dictate exactly who I am and what my life will be. However, deep down in my well seasoned Caribbean soul is this nagging guilt that I’ve failed. Somehow, my need for professional help made me weak. I just knew that what I had tried in the past, wasn’t working.
I couldn’t snap out of it. I could no longer pretend that cycles of depression were just a part of life. I could no longer pretend that there aren’t moments I feel as if I am drowning in a sea of my own turmoil. I could no longer hide my dysfunction in praying it through, when I know the Lord Himself directed me to process things fully with the therapist I chose. For me, I chose a strong black woman; a mother and wife whose soul is postured to heal the broken and bridge the gap between science and spirituality. I love her spirit and I am determined to fall in love with the discomfort, pain and weight of this journey.
I have come to realize that in order to be who I truly am meant to be; I have to uproot everything that’s not. I have to face the lies I have believed about myself and expose them to the light of accountability. My journey looks like prayer, praise and therapy – what’s yours going to be?
Listen, you can keep your pain and your pride or you can gain healing and true self confidence. You may not need therapy, but whatever you need; whatever your soul is longing for to help you heal – run after it!
Live a little, love a lot, be a blessing!
-Black girl in therapy