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Little miss yesterday…

I’m not that girl anymore, I left her behind sometime ago without realizing it. She needed so much just to function, constant contact with other people because she didn’t like herself very much. She held so much resentment and hurt that it clogged her heart and blocked out love. She drank whenever it all became too real, anytime she wanted to feel less; she drank more. She managed to convince the world around her that she was confident and strong all the while suffering silently in a world where she felt little and insignificant.

Her, I left her behind some one ago. This freedom, to do as I please; but choosing instead to do as I ought to. This freedom to love and give of my time and resources without a second thought. Never being threatened when someone is more talented, smarter or better at something because I’m no longer defined by what I do. I am valuable simply because I am. God created, therefore it was good. I crave the love of He who first loved my soul and He sustains me. I am never satisfied, for there is always more and my hunger keeps us closely knit.

I’m loved.
I’m valued.
I’m justified.

So are you!

Not by anything you’ve done, but strictly by the virtue that the master of the universe saw it fit to sketch you into His masterpiece.

Have a beautiful day loves!

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99 Problems (Day 99 – 100 Days of Singleness)

I had 99 problems, God only had to fix 1!!! I was seeking God, yet being attacked in every area of my life. I was being criticized and put down by those I loved and respected and it seemed as if everything was going wrong. But God! Being who He is saw all of what I was facing and did not change one thing about my circumstances yet changed my entire life.

I was looking at what was happening to me and He showed me it was happening for me! (Romans 8:28) I found comfort in the word of God, knowing that no matter how bleak it seemed, it was all divinely orchestrated for the greater good. It is the plan of the enemy to keep you so preoccupied with pain that you neglect purpose. But with the love of God, you are able to maintain peace in every situation because all things may crumble but the word of The Lord stands!

So yes, out of my 99 problems… God only fixed one but it was the only one that needed fixing. Me!

Colossians 3:10-12
And have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,

I asked God to change the hearts of those that attacked me, He changed my heart toward them and allowed me to love them. My fight wasn’t with them but the spirit that operated in them!
– 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

I prayed that He would take away the pain of my past, help me to forget it so it wouldn’t hurt anymore. He made me face it, then healed it and allowed me to use it as a testimony to help heal others!
– 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalms 34)

I sought Him and I found Him because I needed Him with all of me, and He filled every void with His love. I cannot brag or boast except of the love of Christ that has begun a work in me and who is faithful to complete it. (Phillipians 1:6) Every situation, every trial, every testing, has developed the gifts of he spirit within me and I count it all joy when I am torn down and my name is spat on because I am in good company. With Christ and His disciples, I endure sufferings and with them I look forward to the prize and reward of following the will of God.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭2-4‬ NASB)

Every struggle, every trial, every burden was to perfect you and push you pass your threshold. My uncle once told me, no big change ever happens until you pass your threshold and he was right!

Greater is coming!

I had 99 problems and God fixed them all by fixing one, He’s GOD like that! And yes I did mean to put GOD!!!

– Love ya!

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Tangled? (Day 98 – 100 Days of Singleness)

I know you have the idea that you’re feeling stuck because of your situation; that’s not it. Your issue isn’t with your surroundings, it’s with your mindset. Yes, everything may be falling apart before your eyes. But, are you gonna fall apart with it?

There are times in our lives when it seems as if we go from one mess or crisis to another. We break free of one issue only to slip and fall into another.

“…and the cares of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful. (‭Mark‬ ‭4‬:‭19‬ ASV)

In the parable of the sower, the comparison that fits most of us is he who is distracted by this world. Aren’t we so worried about what we will wear , what we will drive and who we will marry? Hasn’t God become the channel of fulfillment rather than the source? We don’t look to Him for completion, rather we seek the creator only to acquire the creation.

Don’t be deceived, God is not going to send you His replacement. You’re so tangled up in your desires that all He has in store for you cannot be released. God has kept you single because He knows the moment you find your spouse you will lose desire for Him. You aren’t faithful in your finances and tithing now so He knows that increase will surely cause you to turn away from Him and trust your wishes.

Are you tangled? Is there a part of your life that is choking out the very words of God and causing you to remain fruitless? It is written that we are to seek first the kingdom of God and it’s righteousness and all these things will be ADDED unto us. The reason everything else is added is because in The Lord, you’re complete. The things you desire are just icing on the cake, decoration and garnishing but they are not the source of sustenance. God will process you until you’re complete, the areas you feel crumbling are where He needs you to trust Him fully and are usually the areas He will bless most. Trust God. He will give you a greater portion than you ever imagined when you are obedient. Because He knows that you put Him first, it frees up that which is stored for you and you can call it forth into the earth realm!

Ask yourself… Am I tangled? Have I given EVERY area of my life over to The Lord or is their still an aspect I don’t expect His hand in?

When you’ve got your answer. Pray. Pray like your soul is on the line, because it is! Ask God to loose every spiritual knot of confusion, pride, doubt, fear and covetousness!

You are free, the spirit of confusion that blanketed your mind has been lifted. God himself has begun to shift things around and release you into your destiny. You are powerful beyond measure because the Holy Spirit and every host of heaven is at your beck and call. You were created to have dominion. You are detangled, detached and delivered!

Love,
Keisha

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Where’s your umbrella? (Day 96 – 100 Days of Singleness)

You’re praying for rain… Well where’s your umbrella? Most of us pray halfheartedly with no real belief that God will answer our prayers. We show it in our lack of preparation for the very thing we are “believing God for”. Prayer isn’t the luck of the draw we make it out to be. We have to pray with confidence that what we are requesting is on it’s way once it’s in line with God’s will. Also, we must ask God to align the desires of our heart with His divine will and not try to “fit” His will into our plans.

Believing for a spouse?
Cut off the randoms, allow your heart to be molded by Christ and prepared for the right person. How do you expect to get married to the love of your life when you’re never single long enough to court them? Be about your Father’s business!

Psalm 37:4 ESV
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Believing for finances?
Stop watching your bank account. Quit expecting God to do it in the way you feel it should be done; through a promotion, new job or etc.

Hebrews 13:5 ESV
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Believing for healing?
Believe! Activate your faith and speak your healing into existence. Speak with such peace and joy that those around you have to remind themselves that you’re facing sickness. Keep praying, He’s able!

James 5:15 ESV
And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

Whatever you are believing God for, if He said it… It’s done. Expect that everything in that area of your life will fall apart, and He very well may allow it to show up and show off in your life. I promise you’ll probably get so much worse off in the area God promised to bless you in, because the enemy seeks to attack your faith but when you don’t waver… God gets the glory and blesses your socks off! If God spoke wealth into your life, watch how your bank account dwindles, every “possible” means of attaining the wealth He promised seems to vanish and you begin to wonder if it was God who spoke to you. You’re thinking too small! He’s not trying to bless you on that miserable little job He didn’t send you to in the first place, He may vey well be trying to make you uncomfortable enough to push you into pursuing your passion. Seek His face like your life depends on it, because it does and allow Him to reveal His plans for you!

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. (‭Psalms‬ ‭84‬:‭11‬ NASB)

If He withholds it, it’s either because:
1. It’s not a good thing, or not YOUR good thing.
2. You’re not prepared yet.
3. You’re not walking upright.

Capiche?

Oh and…
Mark 11:24 ESV
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Get it? Got it? Good!

Go in faith,
Love you!

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Do you want comfortable? Or do you want phenomenal? (Day 92 -100 Days of Singleness)

If you’ve grown weary of waiting on the right one to come along… If you’re just not sure you’ll find anything better than what you’ve had… If you just don’t wanna be alone… This one is for you.

I was single, but not repulsive so naturally there were those who tried their hand. I wasn’t exactly anxious for a spouse before my husband and I met, I just hated not knowing who it would be. I’m the type of person who will literally get upset at you for saying “I have something to tell you” or any similar phrase that leaves me in suspense….

Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

Ouch!

There goes my need to know everything that’s going on! I love The Lord, He has a way of revealing truth to us over and over again until we accept it! It is impossible to know what God is up to always, He wants us to trust Him with our whole heart which means there’s no room for an anxious spirit! I can’t claim to trust God and then keep spazzing out because I don’t know what He’s up to now can I?

2 Peter 3:8 ESV
But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

We have to often remember God’s timing is not like ours, He has a bird’s eye view of the situation while we only have our “perspective”. His timing is perfect and when everything around you points to doubt… Clothe yourself in faith so that you don’t find yourself naked and afraid in the presence of the enemy.

Habakkuk 2:3 ESV
For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.

Whatever the vision is, wait for it. God’s promises aren’t like that of men and He cannot lie, but you can hinder His divine provision with doubt. God has constantly been checking my pride and my need to know what He’s doing and how.

We must be careful of pride masked as doubt and uncertainty! “Does the clay say to the potter ‘what are you making?'” Should we now say to God “what are you doing?” Or “when are you doing it?”. I think not. We must get out spirits under submission and acknowledge God as the creator and ruler of heaven and earth.

God has bigger plans for you than just finding you a spouse! Trust His plan and allow Him to perfect His work in you. Do not settle because you cannot wait.

After all; do you want comfortable or do you want phenomenal?

I’ve had love, love that left a scar and love that’s left it’s mark. But God’s love is so different, it never “left” at all!

Love ya!
– Shakeisha M.

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How my daughter ruined love for me…. (Day 90 – 100 Days of Singleness)

Did I mention I’m a single mother? I was determined to write day 90, hours ago but between a conversation with my daughter and pointless scrolling on social networks… I got side tracked. I digress. I thought I knew what love was, then she was born and she ruined everything!

Ugh kids!

She totally ruined my ideal notion of love, that love meant you’d always know the right thing to say and how to make the person you love feel better. Sometimes you can’t do anything but be present, and sometimes because they’re hurting so much – you can’t even do that!

You know what else she ruined? My selfishness. I thought love was all about me, it would make me happy, love would fulfill me, love would mean I’m never alone. Love love love! She ruined it alright, she taught me what love was really about… The object of your affection.

I found true love, in my daughter’s eyes. They glow anytime I get near her and it draws me in that much more. She believes in me for no reason other than me being her mom. She loves me, once again – for no reason! I would give up everything I desire if it meant she could have everything she desires. She taught me how to love.

Here’s what my daughter taught me:
Love is selfless.
There are no prerequisites to loving someone.
Love everybody, even when they don’t deserve it because that’s when they need it most.
Believe in the people you love, it helps them to believe in themselves.

Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another. (‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭10‬ AMP)

Love – it’s not about you.

– Shakeisha M.

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BeYOUtiful Masterpiece! (Day 67 – 100 Days of Singleness)

God is the greatest artist there will ever be, there are approximately 7 billion people alive at this very moment … All with unique features, talents,gifts and inclinations.

O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.
My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You. (‭Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭1, 3, 13, 15-18‬ NASB)

Everything about you was planned and meticulously thought out. What your parents didn’t plan, God did! You were far from accidental, allow God to perfect His work in you!

God thinks about you all the time, He is constantly planning blessings that we need only to speak into this realm. There is no one way to success, and what it looks like for you differs entirely from someone else’s idea of it. We cannot fully understand the works of God or His plans but we ought to give Him more credit than we do. We limit God to our imaginations and circumstances. Do not allow your lack of faith to insinuate that God has a lack of power or provision. You need only to put your hand to the plow believing He will complete the work through you and He will.

Everything about the earth is phenomenal and we have dominion over it. Everything God placed on the earth works together for our pleasure and enjoyment. It is so easy for us to love the unique beauty we see all around us yet so hard for us to love ourselves in this same manner. We assume that our differences are faults. We assume that because we haven’t taken the road we watched others take to be successful, we are on the wrong path. As long as you are following God, there are no wrong turns! We cannot measure our lives against the ruler of another person’s success or failures. Just as you are unique, so is your purpose. Don’t worry about who may do it better, who has more support or more resources; you are the only you this world will get and we need you to release those gifts!!!!

You are a masterpiece, not limited by any circumstance or flaw. Impossible things are happening everyday, miracles are being birthed in your very life and God is about to throw an outburst your way that will leave no doubt that ALL the glory belongs to Him. You were made in the very image of God, an image that He has managed to keep unique to you despite the density of the earth’s population. You are not an exception to His power, He will bless you too; He will use you and show His glory in you as long as you’re available believe in His power.

Be so lost in purpose that the spouse who finds you, will have to be equally wrapped up in Him. God will never bring a person your way that removes you from His purpose, so of they don’t bring you closer to Him; they’re a distraction pulling you away from Him. Don’t allow the enemy to blanket the masterpiece you are with heartbreak and confusion caused by disobedience.

Be you!

– Shakeisha M.

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To my sisters… (Day 65 – 100 Days of Singleness)

Fall in love they said… It will make you happy they said… Men will be men they said… Just give it time they said…

They lied!

We have been fed lies about love and relationships from the very first “once upon a time”. Then we get into elementary school and are told boys are only mean to us because they like us. We get to high school and are told to keep our virginity while boys our age are coached to deflower as many of us as possible. As we get older we base our value on the opinions of the men we attract and as men are pushed to chase careers… We are pushed to find a man. See the problem here? We have been programmed wrong!

My dear sisters, you beautiful and majestic visions of beauty. Embrace your purpose first and foremost and align yourself with the lover of your soul before seeking the love of your life. Mistreatment is not the usual, every man doesn’t cheat, you are not “getting up there” and there’s no rush. Why should you spend your whole life giving yourself away when you haven’t even figured our who you are.

Forgetting Fiction
The reason most of us haven’t found the love we desire is because it doesn’t exist. A spouse should complement and not complete you. No person deserves to be held responsible for that burden, when the bible tells us that flesh will fail us. We are humans and any ideal notion that has clouded our judgement needs to be expelled from our minds. As long as we hold onto fairy tale notions of love, our satisfaction with relationships will be as real as they are.

<strong>Damsels in distress
I get the appeal of a big hero coming to rescue us from our demise and remaining in love with us forever. But guess what? That love story is real for us all. Jesus gave His life for you, remains with you, and will love you for all eternity!

Let’s dip into scripture and see what love really looks like.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-7, 13‬ NASB)

Forget the fairy tales ladies, let’s accept the scriptural definition of love.

– Shakeisha M.

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Harlot to Help Meet (Day 63 – 100 Days of Singleness)

And behold, a woman comes to meet him, Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. She is boisterous and rebellious, Her feet do not remain at home;

“Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses.

With her many persuasions she entices him; With her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her As an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool,

For many are the victims she has cast down, And numerous are all her slain. Her house is the way to Sheol, Descending to the chambers of death. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭7‬:‭10-11, 18, 21-22, 26-27‬ NASB)

Before the Proverbs 31 woman that we all would love to think we are, Solomon was adamant in warnings of the harlot. I do not expect many women to like this message, or most men to heed the warnings but in obedience – I will paint the picture through divine vision.

Just as the virtuous woman is a “good thing” to the man who finds her, the harlot of Proverbs 7 is the woman that can be a fool’a demise. She seduces you and entices you with lips of honey and words of soothing jasmine, her hips sway to the rhythm of your heart and you lose it. Your mind. I need my brothers to understand that they have to be selective when dating and not to fall into the plan of the enemy by pursuing wayward women. Yes, you may find comfort in her bosom, but the warmth will soon turn as hot coals when you’ve turned away from God’s wisdom to melt into her embrace.

As women, we must seek healing. We cannot continuously walk around broken, using men as a pacifier for souls that are in turmoil. Your thirst for love and acceptance will never be quenched by a man, a few men or many men. No matter how many beds you are welcomed into, you will always be alone. Your soul is lost. Tangled in those bed sheets you allowed your worth to be stripped away with that last piece of clothing. You feel that a better man is the remedy, but you cannot seek from a man what only God can offer.

“I have wiped out your transgressions like a thick cloud And your sins like a heavy mist. Return to Me, for I have redeemed you.” (‭Isaiah‬ ‭44‬:‭22‬ NASB)

My sister, God does not care about your body count. He is not concerned with the labels the world has attached to you based on decisions you made from pain. He is the God that heals, that delivers and transforms. It is He that can bring you from the Proverbs 7 warning, to the Proverbs 31 blessing you were born to be.

– Shakeisha M.

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Inspiration Personal Experiences

Beautifully broken … A little deeper ( Day 57 – 100 Days of Singleness)

I had this really powerful message to deliver to you guys… But what I’m led to share with you is something a bit different than usual.

I speak to you, not as a spotless woman of virtue. I speak to you as a broken vessel. Repaired and redeemed by the one true living God who saw it fit to love me when I had deemed myself unlovable. I had counted myself out and saw me worthy of nothing more than the stolen moments of affection I had begun to settle for.

When I gave my heart to God, I was so broken and confused that I didn’t even expect Him to love me fully. After all, who could love a mess like me? Who could possibly love me knowing all I had done and how could anyone love me when I could barely manage to love myself? How could this perfect God ever see anything good in me? Those prophets had to be wrong, those promises in the bible sound good but they weren’t for me; they don’t know how messed up I am!

The nights I pictured the world without me and envisioned it to be better that way. There were days I hated everyone around me only because they reminded me that I existed. And even when I was foolish enough to like me, along came a reminder of how unworthy I was of love.

BUT God!!!!

He had a plan for me when I didn’t even want to exist! God kept me, literally. I’m not speaking hypothetically, I am talking about times when I should have and would have been dead. I’ve been held over a railing, had a machete held to my throat and raced down a dark highway pleading for a life I wasn’t really sure I wanted.

God loved me so much He forced me to love myself!!!! I had to love me because He did and in my intimate times with Him, He left no room for my self loathing. I’m not who I was, I do not accept what I once did. My redeemer has reconciled me to Himself and shown me the truth about me when I had bought into the lies of the enemy and those that despise me. God began pouring Himself into me and flushing out the darkness I once was familiar with. I speak to you with the authority of Jesus Christ who calls me His own and I am telling you that you are worthy, you are magnificent and you are planned! Every detail of your life is important to your creator and there is no room for you to continue to hate the beautiful being He created you to be!!!

Let love reign!

I know, the pain won’t go away right this moment. But I am a living testament that it will go away, in His presence there is fullness of joy and the more time you spend with Him… The less you spend in despair.

Try Him, try the savior that changed me. Try the God that loved me into loving myself. Try this Holy Spirit that comforts me and leads me.

Just try.

I love you, God loves you – even if you don’t love you. You can learn to. God will show you how!

– Shakeisha M.