Motherhood is a choice every woman has but womanhood is something every woman should master. Women have always had to overcome misogynist views on our role in society and our value. Nobody gets to tell you how to be who you were born to be unless they are the one who created you.
As a mother of three very unique, very amazing, strong willed, witty, hilarious and amazing little girls – the need to be all of who I am is magnified. I recognized that whether I intend to or not, I am modeling what womanhood looks like before their eyes. I want to share with you some ways I keep myself accountable to my womanhood so that I can be my entire self while teaching my daughters to do the same.
- Let ALL of you show up
It can be tempting to try to compress yourself into bite sized pieces so that you are not ‘too much’ for people. Baby, let them choke. If who you authentically are is too much for the room, find the door. Yes, use wisdom and make decisions under the leading of Holy Spirit but do not confuse adapting to the culture of a place temporarily with shrinking back out of fear that who you are is not acceptable. There are doors that can only be unlocked by you living your truth.
2. Learn who you are NOW
Many of us are guilty of building lives based on expired blueprints. Who you were before you squeezed little humans out of your pelvis or adopted them… is not the same woman you are now. Be intentional about learning who you are now and what it takes for you to be whole in your current season. Spa days and brunches may still be valid, but perhaps your circle needs updating. You won’t know what needs updating until you take a moment to pause, assess and adjust.
You deserve a life that works for you and brings you joy.
3. Drop it like it’s hot!
Aht aht! Pick your booty up off the floor, we’ll get to that later.
Make a detailed list of all the organizations you are a part of, all the services you render weekly, all of the things you once agreed to but are no longer committed to or passionate about. Ask the Lord to direct you as you drop what is no longer relevant to His plan for you so that you can focus on building a life that brings Him glory and does not leave you depleted.
Chronic exhaustion is not your portion sugar; drop it LIKE IT’S HOTTTTT!
4. Now.. DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT fr fr
Remember those random things you did that had you belly laughing? Remember dancing around the house while you cleaned, or reading that juicy novel while laying across the bed? I may have been reminiscing a bit, forgive me.
What brings YOU joy? What do you enjoy doing? Make time for those things; they refresh and revive you so that you can show up refreshed and recharged.
Now, whether that is twirling around to your favorite 90’s album, a quiet bath with some candles or organizing your closet (I’m not judging); just ensure that your to-do list includes things that you enjoy.
5. Align your life!
I left this one for last because it is THE KEY to embracing womanhood after motherhood. When we submit our lives to the will of God and bring it into alignment; we are endowed with the grace to be who we truly are while we do what needs to get done.
My relationship with the Lord is what anchors me in my decision making. Holy Spirit reminds me to take moments of refreshing for myself. He convicts me when I am coming out of alignment, getting distracted, lazy or complacent. He keeps me accountable when I am shrinking back out of insecurity. He is my resource when I feel jealous of someone else; because I know that means I have the wrong perspective of myself and of His plans for me.
The beauty of womanhood is that it is unique to us all and we can all do it well though we will all do it differently. Your children will reap the benefit of a mother who is a whole woman, standing in her feminine authority and power.
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